This is my last week in Ireland. I have been here for more than three months. In that time, I've traveled across Ireland and across Europe. I've learned a little about European culture and a lot about what it means to be Irish.
But mostly, I have learned that America is the greatest country in the world and I never want to leave. Here are my top eleven reasons why:
The ability to work & make money:
Kind of a questionable point because a lot of Irish people actually do work (not as many as you'd think though, but we'll come back to this later). I am on a student visa and can't work - and it's a pain in the ass because I spend like a million dollars a week.
Cheap beer:
I took for granted the ability to walk into a beer distributor and throw down $16 for 30 cans of Natty. Or walking into the Grog and paying $2 for a bottle of Coors Light. Aside from the fact that Euros are more expensive than dollars, everything here is more expensive anyway.
The ability to use a smartphone:
I guess this would be an easy fix but I never turned my iPhone service on so I've been stuck with my Samsung Coconut most of the time. It sucks.
Driving:
I just really miss my Jeep. And speeding.
Sunshine/the beach:
It rains in Ireland ALL THE TIME and I don't think anyone here gets pleasure out of going to the beach. Maybe it's because literally everyone (even the Romanian immigrants) has sensitive pale skin?
Snow:
It gets so cold in Dublin but it never snows. I have to think it's kind of the opposite of lake-effect snow because the ocean is salty - but I honestly have no idea. But I do know that it should be snowy in December and I can't wait to get home to see some.
Thanksgiving:
Obviously, they do not close business on Thanksgiving here. Even if you are an unpaid cubicle monkey intern. So I sat at my desk until 5:30 watching the Macy's parade and reading Barstool. I accomplished nothing. Stick it to the man?
Capitalism:
I always knew I liked capitalism, but living in a socialist country has really brought out the conservative in me. Irish people pay 48% of their income to the government - sometimes more. Like, are you kidding me? They get a lot of benefits, sure, but most of those benefits go to people who aren't working and thus aren't contributing to society. And do you know how long you can collect welfare here? Six months? A year and a half? Nope, try your entire life. Forever. There is no incentive to work. They have no system of tipping at most restaurants, so the waiters have no incentive to be good at their jobs. It is just absolutely bizarre.
ESPN:
As I am a male in the 12-100 age range, a lot of my television watching time goes to ESPN. They don't have it here (or at least they don't have it on the shit tv in my living room). I miss everything about it. I miss SportsCenter, I miss Around the Horn, I miss PTI, I miss SportsNation, I miss live sports besides soccer, and shit I even miss all of the This Is SportsCenter commercials. I might not turn it off for the entire winter break.
Taco Bell:
This is probably going to seem bizarre for a lot of you. But I LOVE Taco Bell. I eat it at least three days a week over the summer and it would be fair to say that I have a mild physical and mental addiction to Taco Bell. And there are none of them in Europe. Not even in Amsterdam! The day I found out that www.tacobell.com had on online picture menu, I decided I was going to expand my Taco Bell horizons. Because usually I just stay in the Doritos/volcano taco and steak chalupa range. No more. I'm going to eat nachos. I'm going to eat cheesy gordita crunches. I'm going to eat volcano burritos. Basically, I'm going to turn into the best Taco Bell customer in the world. And it shouldn't be that hard - I'm already like top ten.
Oh.. I miss the SportsCenter Top Ten too.
